Kundalini Splendor

Recently I came across the original manuscript of "Unmasking the Rose" and I realized that many of the entries contained therein were cut out of the final version.  Some were included, some not, but altogether they form a picture of the kind of preparation for initiation I was undergoing at that time.  Beginning in l980 (a year before awakening) I seemed to receive "lessons" from a higher source, concepts and images containing some essential information about the nature of reality.  I am going to reprint some of these texts here, not trying to separate out what is included in "Unmasking" and what got left out.  This first entry is dated March 22, l980.  In it, I describe a kind of "dream vision" of my future life, and also am grappling with the relationship between mind and feeling.  Perhaps the most important part of this entry is the final question in the dream vision.  Many who undergo Kundalini awakening also feel a deep urge to "unite with the god of this world," however they symbolize "it".  This "god" then can become the "Beloved Within," and union is possible through receptivity to Kundalini bliss.
Though it is now out of print, "Unmasking the Rose" is still available from Amazon.

I have been to a party and there--for the first and only time in my life--have sampled amyl nitrate.  (“Go ahead,” they urged.  “This is very mild.  It absolutely can’t hurt you.”)  So I, stranger to drugs of any kind, one who “gets high” on a few cups of coffee or two glasses of beer, agreed to “try it.”  Not realizing that it would, rather, “try me.”  Whether we smoked or inhaled or drank it--I scarcely recall now.  Something was passed around.  Surely we pressed a vial to our nostrils and inhaled--as if our noses were stopped up, as if we were asthmatic.
Then--I relaxed deeply, and listened to music while I watched little dots of light dance in carefully composed geometric patterns in the air.  And then I noted that I had two--or more--centers of gravity, and how strange that seemed.  And then I went home and had an inner vision:

l. The dancers are moving through a spiral labyrinth;
we go in, we go out, in the cycle of birth and death, and rebirth.
But some go in and do not return.  (Do they fall into a black hole at the center?)

2. Shakti stands before us, waving her six arms in  the dance.  Her many limbs reveal her nature as a multiple being, for the mother has many wombs.

3. Someone (a young male) hurtles across the plane of vision, a powerful karate master--or pupil; his energy is intense, potentially destructive.

4. Flowers are opening, symbols of life, which is ever rooted in sex and nature.

5. Seeds spew forth in abundance from the flowers--procreation from nature.

          6. How can we fuse with the god of this world in
transcendent union?


This “vision,” as well as the list of “lost perceptions” in the next dated entry, is a veritable “table of contents” for the early notebook entries and the events they anticipate.


Next, I consider the plane of interface between mind and matter, and find that there are four hierarchical levels:

                              l. Things which do not feel and do not know it.  (such as rocks and clods of dirt)

                              2. Things which feel and do not know it. (such as fish or perhaps other animals)

                              3. Things which do not feel and know it.  (I am not sure what this refers to)

                              4. Things which feel and know it.  (Humans,, who have the capacity for self awareness)

And it seems that the realms of mind and feeling are symbolized by two figures, a youthful (spiritual) young rabbi and the sensuous mother goddess.  An image expresses their relationship: (here an image follows, a kind of leaf with the goddess on one side (to represent intense feel) and a youthful rabbi (to represent extreme intellect).  However, as the two side of the "leaf" they are parts of a single whole.

Thus, mind and feeling are two realms which fuse and are yet separate.  The chord separating the two realms suggests that the most intense feeling type is close to--yet infinitely distant from--the purely “spiritual” (mental) being.  One type is ill at ease, alienated in the realm of the other.  Hence the enmity of spirit towards flesh.

The Goddess         and          The Youthful Rabbi

Dominant:      Matter                                   Spirit  
                      with                                      with
                     spirit                                    matter
        energizing it                            enabling in

It has now been over three months since Michael Black was struck and killed by a hit and run driver as he was walking on the side of a narrow road.  Although I saw Michael only occasionally, he occupied a very important place in my mind and heart.  Michael was a true mystic.  He had "inner adventures" far beyond what most of us ever experience. He felt that he came from "some other place," perhaps a planet, or even Atlantis or Lemuria.  He was inordinately fond of crystals and always wore the latest acquisition around his neck.  He was an energy healer and helped many with his gift, though he did not charge for his services.  He was the kindest man I ever met.  I never heard him speak ill of another person.
Michael was also a writer and a poet.  He was working on a five volume "channeled" work when he died.  He often sent me copies of his poems, and here is one of his last efforts:
  
Tree Lake’s Heart

(for Eldest)

Picture a delicate but sturdy Tree
Growing out of the center of a still
Lake that is your heart.

Now imagine that all beings you encounter want
A place to hang their hearts upon your Tree.

This particularly sacred and holy
Tree will sprout within you and blossom
Skyward upon a scaffolding of words.

Welcome this Tree of Life to your heart,
Which ties together so many spiritual traditions
With its deeply satisfying pool of energies.

Acknowledge all of Creation hovering nearby,
Gathered around to celebrate its imminent arrival
And joyfully share in its frequencies.

Those who feel ready will want a still place
On or under your sheltering canopy that
Confers peace, joy and contentment within.

Your Creation will provide a means of
Erecting Heaven on Earth, one born of
Mutual responsibility and shared sacrifice.

It is time for the hearts of all illumined walking trees
To be awash in gratitude.

Know that soul’s candles illuminating
Each tree will burn brightly and true, as through
All that preceded it is gently swept away.

Share your verdant, cool waters with one
Another as we erect scaffolding for a New Earth,
One born of Beloved’s Divine Light.

Stand firm in each of your respective trees,
And know that nothing can distract from the
Vertical flow of energies, the same

Frequencies that manifest Heaven on Earth, and
Earth in Heaven.  Drink from that delicate but sturdy
Tree growing out of the center of a still lake that is

Your Heart.  Watch as darkness is parted by your Light,
And be joyful!

Michael Black
(March, 2013)

____

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
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Little Summer Poem Touching the Subject of Faith

Every summer
I listen and look
under the sun's brass and even
into the moonlight, but I can't hear

anything, I can't see anything --
not the pale roots digging down, nor the green stalks muscling up,
nor the leaves
deepening their damp pleats,

nor the tassels making,
nor the shucks, nor the cobs.
And still,
every day,

the leafy fields
grow taller and thicker --
green gowns lofting up in the night,
showered with silk.

And so, every summer,
I fail as a witness, seeing nothing --
I am deaf too
to the tick of the leaves,

the tapping of downwardness from the banyan feet --
all of it
happening
beyond any seeable proof, or hearable hum.

And, therefore, let the immeasurable come.
Let the unknowable touch the buckle of my spine.
Let the wind turn in the trees,
and the mystery hidden in the dirt

swing through the air.
How could I look at anything in this world
and tremble, and grip my hands over my heart?
What should I fear?

One morning
in the leafy green ocean
the honeycomb of the corn's beautiful body
is sure to be there.

~ Mary Oliver ~

(West Wind)

The following petition arrived in my mail today.  Because the subject is (for me and others like me) of such supreme importance, I am reprinting it here, although I could not discover how to relay the signature  line itself.  The threatened destruction of one of our great spiritual and cultural treasures is extremely disturbing.  Many of us consider Tibet our "spiritual home," even though we have not visited there nor are we likely to in this lifetime.
The petition originated from Change.org  I went to their website to try to locate this petition there, but did not find it listed.  However, if you google "destruction of Lhasa," it will take you to the petition on Change.org

Petitioning Kishore Rao
Help stop the destruction of my home, Lhasa, Tibet

Petition by
Ngawang Sangdrol
Boston, United States


My name is Ngawang Sangdrol and I am a Tibetan born in Lhasa, the capital city of Tibet. Today I live in exile, unable to return to my beloved homeland as a free person. I share my story with you now as my home, Lhasa, is under severe threat.

This magnificent city has stood on the top of the world for 1,500 years.  It stands not only as the physical capital but also as the spiritual capital for Tibetan Buddhists.  The old city of Lhasa has been the site of many freedom protests and is a symbol of the Tibetan resilience against China’s occupation. When I was 13 years old, I joined a peaceful protest in Lhasa calling for the long life of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and for Tibetan independence. As a result, I served 11-years in prison for my political actions.

But right now, I am afraid this sacred city faces destruction, environmental risks, and forced evictions to make way for a shopping mall and parking garage.

Please help me defend my home. We must not let Lhasa, a city of immense cultural and historical importance, be destroyed.

The UNESCO World Heritage Committee can help prevent China's wilful destruction of the old city of Lhasa by designating the site as “World Heritage in Danger”.  Lhasa’s status as a World Heritage Site is a huge source of pride for China. If Lhasa is listed as being in danger, China must either stop the construction or face losing a World Heritage Site, which would be a major embarrassment.

Don’t let the beauty and historic significance of Lhasa be destroyed!

To:
Kishore Rao, Director, UNESCO World Heritage Centre
cc'd Regina Durighello, Director, World Heritage Programme ICOMOS
Right now, the oldest parts of Tibet's capital Lhasa, a city that has stood on top of the world for thousands of years, are under threat of being destroyed irreplacebly. The extent and impact of China's "modernisation" of this historic city has been brought to world attention in a report that clearly shows evidence of wide scale demolition in the heart of the city, to make way for 'Shopping Malls'...
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Maria Gabriella Camboni MILAN, ITALY about 1 month ago    Liked 30
Lhasa is a cultural treasure that should be protected and cherished

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This petition is important to me, because it hurts me to see that China CCP destroy the historic temple of Tibet.

This must be stopped! Please sign the petition!

Sam Price VANCOUVER, CANADA about 1 month ago    Liked 27
Enough with China's evil colonial bullshit!!!

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Stop the Cultural Genocide, Save Tibet. Stop the CCP

Manuel Moreira BELLAS, PORTUGAL about 1 month ago    Liked 19
Free Tibet

(picture from change.org website)

Looking

We go on our wanderings,
looking here,
seeking there,
turning over this leaf
or stone,
scrutinizing the clouds
for a message,
sometimes just stopping
and listening carefully.
Don’t you ever get tired
of this endless searching,
this fruitless pursuit of a sign?
Don’t you sometimes long
for a final revelation,
angels descending on
a cloud,
the ultimate “aha!”
What would you do
if you made a sudden discovery,
the light surrounding you
like a revelation,
heavenly choirs
singing hosanna?
Would you be happier then?
Could you cope
with this amazed wildness
touching your cells alive,
reminding you
that you, too, are stardust,
pulsation in the eternal flow.

Dorothy Walters
from "The Ley Lines of the Soul"

(picture from Margaret Dolinsky)

At the time of separation, Love creates imaginary forms
When Union arrives, the Formless One appears,
Saying "I am the Origin of the origin of sobriety and wine;
Beauty in all its forms is a reflection of Me.
Now, this moment, I withdraw all veils to reveal
Beauty's final splendor, without any intermediary.
For so long now you have been busy with My reflection ˆ
You have won the power now to gaze at My Essence alone."

- Jalal-ud-Din Rumi
(Translated by Andrew Harvey from A Year of Rumi)

Once many years ago, I heard a voice inside announcing "The purpose of poetry is to beget more poems."  Recently I published the followed poem which was inspired by Rumi's poem on the same theme.  Then I received a poem from Jan Elvee, still on the same topic.  And, following that, is a poem by Patti Tronolone, again on the same theme.  So, indeed, poetry begets  poetry.  It is most gratifying to find spiritual poets emerging at this time, inspiring one another to let expressions of love come forth in poetic form.

Astounding Love

From beyond the intellect, astounding Love arrives
Dragging its robes, a cup of wine in its hand.
                                               Rumi (tr. Andrew Harvey)

Who has the strength to drink from this cup?
Who will kneel down, touch this robe,
bow before this unnamed one
who keeps arriving,
leaving soft traces
again and again?

Dorothy Walters,
June 5, 2013

Love drags its robes,
an exquisite detail,
its arm outstretched,
offering me a cup of wine.
I walk towards him,
doubtful and hopeful.
Longing to kneel,
to drink, to be
embraced.

Jan Elvee
June 8, 2013


THE FIERY DEEP



Light upon light

Flares

Into the fiery deep.



What hidden majesty

Breaches the wall

And sets down the quivering cup?



Deep in the bounty  of a forgotten imprint

I am met in the shade of my own longing

Where the ageless one takes hold.



Some inextinguishable force

Catches me in the balance

My heart is played for all it’s worth.



Light upon light

Flares

Into the fiery deep.

Patti Tronolone

(Photo is titled "eternal love by imagespider")

Free internet event tomorrow
Check it out at: info@evolutionaryleaders.net   (from the Shift Networkk)

Saturday, June 8, 2013
10am US Pacific / 1pm US Eastern / 6pm GMT
Are you ready for a New Era – one in which we manifest our highest potential and create a peaceful, sustainable, healthy, and prosperous world?

At the end of 2012, people around the world marked and celebrated the beginning of this new era. Many have reported a subtle but profound shift in ourselves as a result – a deepened consciousness and greater openness to the evolutionary impulse working through us.


Our conscious evolution is now accelerating and the structures of society are beginning to shift, slowly but surely. However, this is not an instant or overnight process: we need to build the momentum and sustain the changes through long-term collaboration. The ship of humanity turns slowly and it takes focused effort over time.

We are now Generation One – the first humans to enter into this new era consciously. What will we create together?

During this online event with Barbara Marx Hubbard, the visionary voice of the Birth 2012 movement, and the founder of The Shift Network Stephen Dinan, we’ll begin to activate the inner codes for this new era together.

We’ll look at what is emergent in ourselves and our world and how can we build new possibilities for synergy and co-creation. We’ll explore how the years ahead can be the time when the great Shift begins to show up in society in a more profound way.

It’s clear that we’re moving into a new phase of human evolution, IF we chose to make that a reality.

So join us to explore the frontiers of global and personal evolution with two leaders from the frontlines and learn how you can be part of the movement that just may change the world.

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Barbara Marx Hubbard is co-founder and chairperson of the Foundation for Conscious Evolution. An evolutionary educator, speaker and social innovator, she is the author of six books communicating the new worldview of conscious evolution, including the bestselling Birth 2012 and Beyond.

In 1945, when she was 15 years old, the first atomic bombs were dropped on Japan. This terrible act prompted Barbara to ask the fundamental question: “What is the meaning of our new power that can be used for the good? And “What are positive images of the future equal to these new powers?” This defining moment propelled her on her life’s quest to find answers to these questions. The insights she has gained has led to her definitive message of hope that “our crisis is a birth” of a more universal human and universal humanity.

As a co-founder of The Evolutionary Leaders Council she is co-chairing with Andrew Cohen a global dialogue on The Meaning of Conscious Evolution. Barbara is also the subject of a recent biography by Neale Donald Walsch entitled: The Mother of Invention: The Legacy of Barbara Marx Hubbard and the Future of You.


Stephen Dinan is the founder and CEO of The Shift Network and a member of the prestigious Evolutionary Leadership Council. As the former Director of Membership and Marketing at the Institute of Noetic Sciences, he was the driving force behind the Shift in Action program, which grew to 10,000 paying members, and the One Minute Shift video series, which was seen by more than one million. He is also the author of Radical Spirit (New World Library), and a forthcoming book Sacred America. Stephen directed and helped to create the Esalen Institute’s Center for Theory & Research, a think tank for leading scholars, researchers, and teachers to explore human potential frontiers.

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The Secret Gift

How long will it take us to realize
that suffering
is the bedmate of joy?

That each clear moment
on the mountain
is followed
by a dark passage
in the forest below?

Yesterday I stood
by the shore
as a messenger
brought gifts
of fruit and wine.

I took some of each
and did not ask
the giver
or why the gift

Dorothy Walters
June 4, 2013.

Smoke from the Flame

Dear one,
it is all right
if you cried last night.

Tears make of us
a readiness to meet
the nameless one.
They tell us
that we are malleable,
clay in the mold,
paint softened
to leave the brush.

Smoke from the candle flame
makes visions
more easily
perceived.

Dorothy Walters
June 4, 2013

Astounding Love

From beyond the intellect, astounding Love arrives
Dragging its robes, a cup of wine in its hand.
                                               Rumi (tr. Andrew Harvey)

Who has the strength to drink from this cup?
Who will kneel down, touch this robe,
bow before this unnamed one
who keeps arriving,
leaving soft traces
again and again?

Dorothy Walters,
June 5, 2013

 The Traceless

Like cream concealed in the heart of milk,
No-place keeps seeping into place.
Like intellect hidden in this sack of blood,
The Traceless keeps infiltrating traces.
From beyond the intellect, astounding Love arrives
Dragging its robes, a cup of wine in its hand.
And from beyond Love, that Indescribable One
Who can only be called "That" keeps coming and coming.

- Jalal-ud-Din Rumi
(Translated by Andrew Harvey from A Year of Rumi)

The following is taken (originally) from SurvivingAntidepressants.org  It contains much valuable information on the relationship of these phenomena, as well as information on the nature of Kundalini in general.
Fortunately, most of us do not undergo the entire spectrum of negative symptoms.  Each follows her own syndrome with symptoms ranging from mild to intense.  The author mentions "euphoric" only in passing although for some of us this is the key manifestation. (See Bernini's famous statue of St. Teresa of Avila,, which shows her in the state of ecstatic rapture.)  When ecstasy occurs, the subject may feel that it is a divine blessing, a sign of sacred connection with Source. And, oddly, sometimes extreme ecstasy is extremely difficult to cope with, just as is pain.
Certainly, all three mentioned states can lead to deep inner transformation.



Psychiatric drug withdrawal, kundalini and shamanic initiatory illness
by Sheila Joshi

Shaking, vibration, altered states of consciousness ranging from comatose to euphoric, extremely long periods of insomnia or hypersomnia, inability to tolerate eating, food cravings, headaches, nausea and vomiting, nightmares, suicidality, pain, heart palpitations, fear of going crazy, feeling tormented, terror, being bed-ridden, agitation, weakness, cognitive confusion, seizures, muscular rigidity, tingling, impaired vision, hearing unusual sounds, seeing lights, other hallucinations or visions, obsessive or impulsive behavior, rages, crying jags, severe depression, vertigo, seeming drunk without taking any substance, exhaustion, chills, heat, sweating, tendency to withdrawal and agoraphobia.
What am I describing?
a) psych med withdrawal
b ) Kundalini awakening
c) shamanic initiatory illness
d) all of the above
The correct answer is d) all of the above!
Kundalini awakening and shamanic initiatory illness are both naturally occurring phenomena that were first observed and described many millenia ago. And they continue to be observed — in more and more cultures.
Kundalini is an ancient Indian model of neuro-psycho-spiritual evolutionary potential in humans. The ancient Indians really mapped this phenomenon, kind of the way the ancient Chinese mapped the chi health system. However, this phenomenon has been described in many different spiritual and philosohical traditions throughout history, including Christianity.
Shamanic initiatory illness is a phenomenon with roots even further back in the mists of time, when humans drew their inspiration directly from nature (celestial bodies, elements, animals, plants) and ancestors, before the advent of gods. Again, this phenomenon has been described in isolated, indigenous cultures around the globe, suggesting that it is a universal human potential.
The syndrome is unpredictable in how it is precipitated, but toxic exposure is one of the possible factors. It often lasts for years. The symptom set includes significant mental and physical symptoms, and doesn’t fit into any of the culture’s recognizable illnesses. The symptoms are intractable — that culture has no adequate treatment. The syndrome remits spontaneously and it is impossible to predict when it will happen. The syndrome does end.
What am I describing?
a) psych med withdrawal
b ) Kundalini awakening
c) shamanic initiatory illness
d) all of the above
The correct answer is, again, d) all of the above!
Kundalini is a neuro-psycho-spiritual developmental potential that traditionally resides latent at the base of the spine until it is activated. It can be activated on purpose by spiritual practice, or by accident through physical or psychological trauma. Once it is activated, it involves a deep cleanse or purge of the body, psyche, and spirit. Psycho-physiological traumas from throughout the lifespan are repaired. The grueling symptoms listed above are merely the side effects of this repair process.
The final result is a rewired neuro-endocrinological system. The person who goes through the process and comes out the other side takes a quantum leap in health, happiness, peace, wisdom, sense of mission, and, potentially, “extended human capacities,” or what we call psychic abilities. It’s like being born again into a second life without actually dying in between. And it’s supposed to result in a literally more evolved human being.
A shamanic initiatory illness is a transformative ordeal that either comes on unexpectedly with no known precipitating event or can be activated on purpose by spiritual practice. It shows up as an odd amalgam of mental and physical symptoms, as mentioned above; is typically very debilitating; and takes the individual to very odd and dark mental and physical places. Interestingly, the illness seems to create a field that affects family and friends around the sufferer, who sometimes go through their own tough times in parallel.
Most initiations seem to be involuntary and un-asked-for, and, consequently, resisted. Eventually, the resistance in broken down, and the sufferer agrees to be a shaman. Symptoms can remit quite dramatically once the initiate starts to “shamanize” in some way, such as performing healings (using herbal knowledge, psychic healing, or a combination) or divination, involving knowledge and abilities s/he did not have before the illness. Shamans are considered to be more advanced in their development or more evolved than people who have not gone through the initiation.
So, what does this have to do with us?!
Exposure to toxic 21st century psych meds, removal of the toxin, and recovery from the consequent neuro-endocrinological damage may be just the latest way that humans are being triggered into a transformative experience that re-wires them. It might be said that the transformation leads people back into who they were supposed to be before the oppressive influences of family and society pushed them off track. Or it might be said that the transformation leads people into what the collective unconscious or planet *needs* them to be right now for the commonwealth.
In the last several years of observing people recover from these meds, I have noticed that as people recover they often report significant changes in how they view the world, the purpose of their lives, what’s most important, etc. Many people become more interested in spiritual matters. Others become politically aware in a new way. Or environmentally aware. Some people become more intuitive or psychic. Almost everyone gets their eyes opened in some way, and becomes more of a critical thinker when it comes to accepting the word of the authorities.
So, horrendous as this experience is, it’s interesting to look at it as a transformative experience that may serve a broader purpose than we might have imagined and that fits into a very ancient framework about how rapid spurts of evolution may happen for individuals, societies, and civilization as a whole.

As always, Jay Valusek truly "hits the nail on the head" with his latest observations.  Indeed, our plethora of electronic devices serve in many instances simply to distract us from more significant concerns.  The lack of focus in turn makes it more unlikely that we are prepared for more profound experiences, including Kundalini itself.  Let's face it--serious spiritual exercises--whether traditional meditation, reading spiritual texts, or exploring Kundalini pathways--require a commitment of time and concentration, and too much time spent in casual conversation may leave precious little opportunity for cultivating our sacred connections through spiritual endeavors.
Personally, I use my cell phone only for travel and such, and I am grateful for the computer which provides us with easy connections with others via e-mail (including Jay's own essay), a veritable reference library by way of google, and even this blog on which I am now writing. 


The Smartphone Sutra
“Wherever I am, the world comes after me. . . It does not believe that I do not want it.” —Mary Oliver

Not long ago, during a meeting of the local insight meditation community’s service committee, which I had just joined, the volunteer coordinator passed around a clipboard and asked us to write down our cell phone numbers. When the sheet arrived in my hands, I stared at it for a moment. “Uh, what if we don’t have a cell phone?” I said.

There was an interesting moment of silence, and I felt my face flush as everyone turned to look at me. “It’s a sort of lifestyle choice,” I added, unnecessarily. Surely they would understand. After all, these were veteran meditators.

Someone piped up. “I bet you don’t have a TV either!” I hesitated just long enough to keep everyone staring. “No, in fact, I don’t,” I replied, realizing I was sounding weirder every time I opened my mouth. A funny little discussion ensued about Luddites—a term originally applied to English workers who refused to adopt the machinery of the Industrial Revolution—and then we went on with our business. Whew.

Actually, I did have a cell phone, but I didn’t know the number. It’s a pay-as-you-go phone I got just in case my car, which has over 300,000 miles on it, decides to break down along the road some night. Kind of like a CB radio back in the 80s. We lived in the mountains for seven years in a cell phone dead zone, so I got used to living without one. And I still work at home, where I use a land line for my business calls.

Outside of work, frankly, I don’t want anyone to reach me any time they feel like it. I prefer my contemplative solitude to the world’s 24/7 electronic connectivity, thank you very much.

Amusingly, this is what came to mind as I pondered Mary Oliver’s poem, “The Old Poets of China” (Why I Wake Early, 2004).

Like me, Oliver doesn’t want the world coming after her, offering all its busyness. “Now I understand,” she writes, “why the old poets of China went so far and high into the mountains, then crept into the pale mist.” They were, no doubt, trying to get out of cell phone range!

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a pioneer in bringing Buddhist meditation practices to people suffering from pain and illness, notes that electronic communication technologies are turning us into an “ADHD nation.” Indeed, studies show that a typical office worker stops to check email 30 to 40 times per hour—yet even a brief glance interrupts and scatters our ability to concentrate. As a nation, we are becoming increasingly distracted, anxious and stressed. Are we multitasking ourselves to death?

In The Shallows: What The Internet Is Doing To Our Brains, Nicolas Carr notes, ominously, that “the contemplative mind is overwhelmed by the noisy world’s mechanical busyness”—an exact parallel with Oliver’s poetic observation.

Sadly, these wonderful tools may be eroding our capacity for slow, contemplative thought, our ability to stay present and aware of what really matters. Worse yet, experiments by psychologists and neurologists indicate that “the more distracted we become, the less able we are to experience the subtlest, most distinctively human forms of empathy, compassion, and other emotions.” As Carr says, a calm, attentive mind is essential to the cultivation of our deepest connections with others.

Researchers at the University of Essex discovered recently that the “mere presence” of a cell phone on a table between two individuals engaged in conversation harms their relationship in measurable ways. It undermines their sense of social connection, closeness and even trust. Why? That’s not entirely clear. But apparently the mobile phone represents a broader social network, beyond the immediate face-to-face encounter, unconsciously “crowding out” the full presence of the other person. Paradoxically, a device intended to connect us also diminishes intimacy—especially, it turns out, when we’re discussing deeply meaningful stuff. Aack.

I was encouraged, therefore, to find other contemplative Luddites out there.

On his website’s contact page, psychotherapist John Welwood—who wrote a lovely poem entitled “Forget About Enlightenment,” which you can find, ironically, on the Internet—says, If you want to contact me, write a letter. He graciously provides his street address. “I am trying,” he explains, unapologetically, “to reduce the time I spend in front of a computer screen.” How cool is that? How laudable!

But just so you don’t think I’m some sort of caveman, I want you to know that I got myself a smartphone about two weeks ago. Holy cow! There are “apps” for mindfulness! I can check email 30 times an hour now, even if I’m in the shower! How did I live without this thing for so long? It’s amazing!

Just don’t expect me to give you my number.

—Jay E. Valusek

The following excerpt appeared on a blog entitled "Interrupting the Silence":

What is too much for you? What is beyond your comprehension? What pushes you to the limits of your belief and trust? What reality lies at the furthest edge of your wildest imagination? What is unbearable? I don’t know what exactly that might be for you but I have some ideas that might point to that reality.

It is about deep personal presence. It is an intimacy that spills over and reveals itself as creativity, beauty, and joy. Love that cannot be contained, conditioned, or tamed. It is a unity and oneness that comes from looking into the face of another as that one looks into your face. It is experiencing your own wholeness, your “enoughness,” not by what you do but because you are. It is being fully alive. It is being swept up into a larger life that can only be described as, “I am.” It is participating in and becoming abundance. Nothing is held in reserve and nothing is lacking. It is relationships founded on the mutual recognition and calling forth of your own and the other’s own beauty and holiness.

You will know what is unbearable when you consider it for yourself, you try it on for size, and your first response is, “No. That couldn’t be. That’s not possible. That’s not me. I cannot bear that. It’s just too much, too big, too beautiful, too wild.” You have found what you cannot bear. Open yourself to the divine life and presence. You see, God is never more real, more present, than in that which we cannot bear.

Note: The following entry is out of place.  It was intended to precede the entry on "The Field of Love."

I have just "returned" from one of the most remarkable gatherings I have attended in many years.  The occasion was the "work" of Michael Regan, a spiritual teacher and counselor of high order.

Michael is unusual in his approach and his being.  He utilizes dream work (of members of the group) as an entry point.  Each participant is invited to describe a dream, and using this as focus for discussion, Michael enables the dreamer to see what the underlying message of the dream might be.  Many times what surfaces is some aspect of the shadow that the speaker has been unwilling or unable to perceive.  These revelations can be extremely emotional for the participants, and often they end up sobbing.

All of these transactions occur in a great field of love.  Michael addresses each member with great respect and candor.  He is like a surgeon probing gently and lovingly beneath the surface--revealing the wound so that it may be healed.

I found the experience amazing and transformative.  First of all, I was unused to so much love--from both leader and participants--to be so openly expressed.  And, to be honest, I was amazed by the willingness of others not only to bare their deepest emotions and fears, but sometimes to weep in so doing.  I myself have trouble crying at all, and certainly would experience great shame to weep in front of others (childhood conditioning).

I had planned to attend this event as a "silent witness" observing others having "their" experience.  But Michael cleverly drew me in as participant--my personal discovery was not traumatic, but it did draw my attention to an area of my life that needs to be addressed (essentially, the message was "do more in your life and don't hold back").

Michael is indeed an authentic teacher.  He possesses the kind of profound wisdom that is rare on the spiritual path, where many speak from less evolved perspectives.

It even occurred to me that being with Michael is a kind of foretaste of heaven--for one is now with a loving, totally accepting collection of kindred souls, like the "group souls" I think we may experience in the other world.  In this state (in my notion) we would participate in the "group soul," but at the same time we would preserve our individual identities.  And we would know that state of consciousness in which we are fully possessed by love and thus the world and all it contains is revealed to us in its underlying radiance and enduring beauty.

Before I attended this gathering, I had assumed the focus would be essentially "personal psychology" rather than "transpersonal psychology," the realm of Kundalini and spiritual endeavors.  But, with its emphasis on the power of love and the transformative power of inner healing through insight into one's essential nature, the experience incorporated the transpersonal realms, where profound changes can take place.

Kundalini itself is one of the most basic expression of love--of human for divine, of divine for human, and of love of each of us for others and the world and all it contains.

Michael's website contains the following description :        
Michael’s work invites people from diverse backgrounds to explore an inborn vision of awakening that is rooted in a primal, divine essence and leans into new frontiers in empowerment, creative expression and the embodiment of love. 

His website is www.michaelregan.us/‎

He presents most often in New Mexico (near Santa Fe), Colorado (Boulder), and the Bay Area in California.  He also leads wilderness retreats.

Yesterday I wrote about the intense gathering for "dream analysis" that I attended over the weekend. Since then I have been musing on its impact and meaning, for it was (for me) a powerful event, not because of the "interpretations" per se but because of the sweet energy field that was created and the many expressions of love that each participant extended to the others.

What is love?  I ask myself.  We all recognize it when we experience it, but how do we define it?

There are of course many, many different kinds of love.  Beyond romantic love, there is the love for the divine when it enters and embraces us through such means as Kundalini energies.  The blissful currents we feel within at that time surpass all efforts to define or even describe, yet they convince us that we are now in sacred space and are, as it were, held in the arms of divine reality.  We and it become one.

I think of this kind of love as vertical--as if there were a channel or path connecting human and divine, a fusion of two levels of truth.

Another kind of love is that of one human for another--not as romantic lovers, but rather as sacred friends, even those whom we barely know.  When we enter this state, everyone looks lovely--as does all the world around us, even the trash at the corner or the "lost ones" on the street.  This love is "horizontal," person to person, heart to heart, self to surroundings.

Either form can be difficult to bear (though they are not mutually exclusive).  Many are totally terrified when Kundalini ecstasy makes itself known within. They are unaccustomed to such overwhelming affirmation. Likewise, the open expression of love of one person for another can also be difficult to bear.  We are not used to such dissolution of the barriers that generally keep us "safe" within our own space when we encounter others.  We learn from early on that to express love fully is dangerous, for we may be demeaned or even rejected.  We keep our distance, staying in our own "safety zone."

The experience of the weekend was one in which a love field emerged that embraced all the participants.  We felt and freely expressed our love one for another.  Our hearts were indeed opened.  Our "leader"  (Michael Regan) was of course primarily responsible for this--he conveyed his own sense that love itself is the means by which we discover who we are and taste our undeniable connection to source and one another.

What would happen if the entire world became such a "field of love"?  As I suggested earlier, I think it would be heaven on earth.

I Think Continually of Those

I think continually of those who were truly great.
Who, from the womb, remembered the soul's history
Through corridors of light where the hours are suns,
Endless and singing. Whose lovely ambition
Was that their lips, still touched with fire,
Should tell of the spirit clothed from head to foot in song.
And who hoarded from the spring branches
The desires falling across their bodies like blossoms.

What is precious is never to forget
The delight of the blood drawn from ancient springs
Breaking through rocks in worlds before our earth;
Never to deny its pleasure in the simple morning light,
Nor its grave evening demand for love;
Never to allow gradually the traffic to smother
With noise and fog the flowering of the spirit.

Near the snow, near the sun, in the highest fields
See how these names are fêted by the waving grass,
And by the streamers of white cloud,
And whispers of wind in the listening sky;
The names of those who in their lives fought for life,
Who wore at their hearts the fire's center.
Born of the sun, they traveled a short while towards the sun,
And left the vivid air signed with their honor.


~ Stephen Spender ~

(Collected Poems)

Infinite Sea

Love is an infinite Sea whose skies are a bubble of foam.
Know that it is the waves of Love that turn the wheels of Heaven,
Without Love, nothing in the world would have life.
How is an inorganic thing transformed into a plant?
How are plants sacrificed to become rich with spirit?
How is spirit sacrificed to become Breath,
One scent of which is potent enough to make Mary pregnant?
Every single atom is drunk on this Perfection and runs towards It
And what does this running secretly say but "Glory be to God!"

- Jalal-ud-Din Rumi
(Translated by Andrew Harvey from A Year of Rumi)

Praise Them

The birds don't alter space.
They reveal it. The sky
never fills with any
leftover flying. They leave
nothing to trace. It is our own
astonishment collects
in chill air. Be glad.
They equal their due
moment never begging,
and enter ours
without parting day. See
how three birds in a winter tree
make the tree barer.
Two fly away, and new rooms
open in December.
Give up what you guessed
about a whirring heart, the little
beaks and claws, their constant hunger.
We're the nervous ones.
If even one of our violent number
could be gentle
long enough that one of them
found it safe inside
our finally untroubled and untroubling gaze,
who wouldn't hear
what singing completes us?

~ Li-Young Lee ~

(Book of My Nights)







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